Common questions

Question 1

Does screen time affect a toddler's language development?

Accepted Answer

It may do. In a Norwegian study of 1,442 toddlers, two year olds with more screen time knew fewer words than their peers; one year olds showed no difference. Cause isn't proven: children who struggle with language may be handed a screen more often.

Question 2

How much screen time should a child under two have?

Accepted Answer

None before the second birthday, says the Norwegian Directorate of Health. One exception: short video calls with people the child knows. For the youngest, screens tend to take the place of small exchanges with an adult, and those exchanges are where language is built.

Question 3

Why shouldn't children under two have screen time?

Accepted Answer

Largely because of language. It's built through interaction: a face that responds, turn-taking, pointing and naming, over and over. A two year old learns words by using them with someone, and screen time tends to come out of exactly those small exchanges.

Question 4

Do video calls with grandparents count as screen time?

Accepted Answer

Not quite. The Norwegian Directorate of Health exempts short video calls with people the child knows from its zero-screens advice for under twos. A face that responds and waits for an answer gives exactly the back-and-forth that builds language.

Question 5

Can toddlers learn words from watching TV?

Accepted Answer

Very little, as far as the research shows. A two year old learns words by using them with someone; words streaming past on a screen don't stick well. The studies found more screen time alongside fewer words at two, and reading aloud alongside more.

Question 6

How much screen time is normal for a two year old?

Accepted Answer

More than advised. A British study of over 4,700 two year olds found an average of 129 minutes a day, more than twice the WHO recommendation. Those with the most screen time scored 53 per cent on a vocabulary test, those with the least 65.

Question 7

How can I help my two year old learn more words?

Accepted Answer

Read aloud, and often. In the Norwegian study, one and two year olds who were read to a lot knew more words than their peers, most of all where mothers had the least education. A bedtime book also claims time the screen never gets.

Question 8

Does reading to a one year old help?

Accepted Answer

Yes. In the Oslo study, one year olds read to a lot also knew more words than their peers. Your child doesn't need to follow the story; the pointing, sounds and little exchanges build the words. Leave a book on the pillow for bedtime.

Question 9

How do I stop the nagging and whining about screens?

Accepted Answer

Be consistent. A no that sometimes turns into a yes teaches your child that nagging pays, and the lesson sticks. Answer calmly and the same way every time, give the reason, and don't say yes because your child nagged. Nagging gradually turns into proper questions.

Question 10

Why do children nag about screens?

Accepted Answer

Because it has worked before. A reward that arrives unpredictably sticks far harder than one that arrives every time, the same mechanism as a slot machine. Give in once out of ten and your child has learned that ten attempts can pay off.

Question 11

What do I say when my child nags about screen time?

Accepted Answer

At home I ask “Have you ever once got something by nagging?” or say “The more you nag, the less you get.” Both work as long as they stay true, so the answer must hold afterwards. A raised voice already feeds the nagging.

Question 12

How do I get my child to stop whining?

Accepted Answer

With a bit of humour. I say, smiling: “I don't speak whine, so you'll have to try that again in your normal voice.” That channel is closed, but the wish can still be heard, so the child has a way out that isn't a defeat.

Question 13

Why is it so hard to be consistent?

Accepted Answer

Because giving in pays off for both of you in the moment: your child gets their way and you get peace. Children also notice when resistance is low, so when you are tired, I think a short, calm no beats a long discussion.

Question 14

Is it OK to make exceptions to the screen rules?

Accepted Answer

Yes, when your child has asked properly. Make an occasion of it: say yes straight away, explain why it fits today, and say you expect it not to lead to nagging next time. If the wish arrives after nagging, I hold the no.

Question 15

What do I do if I have already given in to nagging?

Accepted Answer

Everyone has. The next answer counts. Say it plainly: “Yesterday I said yes when you nagged, and that was my mistake. From now on, what I said stands.” Children cope well with adults correcting themselves, and they watch to see whether the new line holds.

Question 16

Do I always have to explain why I say no?

Accepted Answer

It pays off. In my experience a child who knows why nags less. A no without a reason is a wall your child tries to get around. A no with a reason can be disagreed with, and disagreement is the start of a conversation.

Question 17

Should I take the phone away when my child nags?

Accepted Answer

Rarely, and especially not in anger. Your child learns that the strongest decides, and the nagging comes back with the phone. A time limit set in advance in Screen Time or Family Link, together with your child, holds better than one taken in the moment.

Question 18

How do I stop arguing about screen time every evening?

Accepted Answer

Move the limit into the settings. A time limit in Screen Time on iPhone or Family Link on Android switches itself on, so nobody has to say no every evening. Set it together with your child, with a reason, and the argument becomes one conversation.

Question 19

How much screen time should a 3 year old have?

Accepted Answer

Half an hour to an hour a day at most, ideally less and ideally together, is Norway's official advice for ages 2 to 5. Half an hour at 2, rising towards an hour at 5. The number is a ceiling, and screen-free days are fine.

Question 20

Which apps are good for a 3 year old?

Accepted Answer

Judge any app by five things: made for kids, no ads or pressure to buy, no feed or autoplay, a calm pace with a clear ending, and something to talk about together. Start with an ad-free, editorially curated kids' service, like Norway's NRK Super.

Question 21

Is YouTube OK for a 3 year old?

Accepted Answer

Preferably not regular YouTube. It isn't built for this age and comes with ads, a feed and autoplay in one package. If you end up there anyway, use YouTube Kids or a parent-managed account, turn autoplay off and stay in the room while they watch.

Question 22

Does video calling grandparents count as screen time?

Accepted Answer

No. A real person who answers back is the exception all the way down to age zero, and it isn't the kind of screen time I worry about. I count a video call with grandma as company.

Question 23

Can a 3 year old watch TV before bed?

Accepted Answer

Preferably not. I'd keep the last hour before bedtime screen-free, and the bedroom screen-free too; those are the two parts of the official advice I'd hold firmest on. Children this age build body and brain while they sleep, and screens easily eat into that sleep.

Question 24

Does background TV affect toddlers?

Accepted Answer

Yes, a screen that's on in the background counts too. A TV that's always on takes from the small back-and-forth conversations language is built from, even when nobody is actually watching it. When no one is following along, I'd simply turn it off.

Question 25

Is it OK to use a screen to calm my toddler down?

Accepted Answer

Preferably not, precisely because it works so well. A child who gets a screen every time they're bored or need settling gets little practice at being bored, and I'd rank that among the exercises with the most lasting value, for children and adults alike.

Question 26

How do I stop my 3 year old nagging for more screen time?

Accepted Answer

Fixed times remove most of it. Screen time at the same point every day, say after nursery while dinner's cooking, means “can I watch now?” already has an answer. Agree the ending before the screen goes on: “One episode, then we set the table together.”

Question 27

How do I explain screen time rules to a 3 year old?

Accepted Answer

With one short reason and a clear ending. Try something like: “The screen never says when it's had enough. It always wants one more. So I'm the one who says when. One more episode, then it's dinner.”

Question 28

Is it bad if my toddler has too much screen time some days?

Accepted Answer

No, don't worry. Every family has sick days, flights and worn-out evenings, mine included, and the advice is a compass. What kind of screen matters more than the minutes: a film together on the sofa is nothing like the same time alone with short videos.

Question 29

How much screen time should children have?

Accepted Answer

Norway's official advice: no screens under 2, at most an hour a day at 2 to 5, 1 to 1.5 hours at 6 to 12 and 1.5 to 3 hours for teenagers. The numbers are ceilings for free time only. Less is fine too.

Question 30

Should a baby under 2 have any screen time?

Accepted Answer

The advice is no, including background TV. At this age the brain is built through faces that answer back, and a murmuring TV steals the small exchanges language grows from. The one exception is a short video call with grandma while you sit beside them.

Question 31

How much screen time should a 10 year old have?

Accepted Answer

At most 1 to 1.5 hours a day of free time, ideally less, in Norway's official advice, which also says hold off on social media. The first phone arrives at this age, so set the limit in Screen Time or Family Link from day one.

Question 32

How much screen time should a teenager have?

Accepted Answer

At most 1.5 to 3 hours a day of free time, in Norway's advice. From 13 to 15 the limit is set together, with your teen proposing the number first; from 16 to 18 they gradually take over. TikTok itself defaults under-18s to 60 minutes.

Question 33

What does too much screen time do to a child?

Accepted Answer

Research points to three costs of heavy use: less sleep, everything the screen displaces (play, friends, exercise) and mental health. Teenagers on social media over three hours a day have roughly double the risk of anxiety and depression symptoms. At average use, effects are small.

Question 34

What counts as good screen time for kids?

Accepted Answer

Screen time where your child makes something, learns something or is with friends: building in Minecraft, gaming with teammates. An hour alone in a feed of short videos leaves little behind. Try asking “What did you make or watch today?” rather than counting minutes.

Question 35

How do I get my child to stick to screen time limits?

Accepted Answer

Let your child propose the number, then put the limit into Screen Time on iPhone or Family Link on Android, ideally from day one. The system then enforces it instead of you. If you're well over the advice, halve the gap and let it settle.

Question 36

How do I set screen time limits on my child's phone?

Accepted Answer

On iPhone and iPad, use Screen Time, with app limits and downtime. On Android, use Family Link, with daily per-app limits and a bedtime. TikTok adds Family Pairing, YouTube an autoplay switch. Set it up with your child, ideally the day the phone arrives.

Question 37

Should kids have phones in their bedroom at night?

Accepted Answer

Best not. Norway's advice at every age: no screens in the bedroom at night or in the last hour before bed. Evening screen light delays melatonin, and children, who need more sleep than adults, are hit harder by losing it. It applies to adults too.

Question 38

How do I explain screen time limits to my child?

Accepted Answer

Start with why the apps are free: they sell your child's time, and some of the world's cleverest people are paid to take as much as they can. The limit exists because sleep, friends, moving and free time matter more, and you set it together.

Question 39

Does taking the phone away actually help?

Accepted Answer

Rarely the way you hope. Confiscating the phone ends tonight's battle, but it doesn't teach your child to put the phone down on their own. What works better: limits that live in the system and agreements made in peacetime.

Question 40

When should my child get their first phone?

Accepted Answer

When your child actually needs one, not when the pressure says it's time. And the first phone doesn't have to be a smartphone. Three questions that matter more than any age.

Question 41

Why are text messages so easily misunderstood?

Accepted Answer

No voice, no face, no pauses, so the receiver reads in a tone of their own. We think our tone lands in nearly eight of ten messages; really, just over half. At our house, hard things get a conversation; text gets plans, jokes and hearts.

Question 42

How do I teach my child to write good messages?

Accepted Answer

With two questions before anything is sent: could you have said it face to face, and could anyone have seen it? Both should get a yes. Try inventing three messages together, one nice, one dubious and one angry, and let your child rule on each.

Question 43

What do I do when my child argues with friends over text?

Accepted Answer

Move the argument out of text. Hard things land better in a conversation, so help your child plan how to raise it out loud. Angry replies can be written, but in the notes app; whatever still feels right tomorrow can be sent, or better, said.

Question 44

Do Snapchat messages really disappear?

Accepted Answer

Not necessarily. Screenshots exist in every app, including the ones where messages delete themselves, and a message vanishing in the app stops nobody taking a screenshot first. Anything sent can be passed on, and a confidential message stays confidential as long as the friendship does.

Question 45

What do I do if my child gets a nasty message?

Accepted Answer

Breathe, thank them for trusting you and look at it together. If you tell them off, ring another parent or confiscate the phone, they learn that speaking up was a mistake. If they're to come to you next time, the threshold should be zero.

Question 46

How do I get my child to tell me about their messages?

Accepted Answer

With a deal made before anything happens. Ours goes roughly: “If a message feels bad, or you're not sure how to write something, you can always show me. You'll never get told off or lose your phone for being honest with me.”

Question 47

What if my child is being bullied in a group chat?

Accepted Answer

Involve the school. Schools have a legal duty to act when a pupil isn't safe, and bullying that happens digitally counts. Reassure your child that speaking up isn't tattling. Threats, and pictures spreading without consent, often go on to the police as well.

Question 48

Is it illegal for teenagers to send nudes to each other?

Accepted Answer

As a rule, yes. Pictures that sexualise anyone under 18 are illegal to take, keep and share, even between teenagers, and sharing pictures that violate someone's privacy is an offence too. Our rule has no grey areas: such pictures are never sent, whoever asks.

Question 49

What do I do if my child has sent a nude?

Accepted Answer

Help them, with no telling off. Pressure and trickery are common, and a child pressured into sending a picture has been wronged. Support exists: parents first, then Slettmeg, a free Norwegian service that gets pictures removed, and the police when someone has broken the law.

Question 50

Should I read my child's messages?

Accepted Answer

Ideally together with them, now and then. I'd make a habit early on of sitting down to look through apps and conversations, explaining that the point is to guide when it's needed, and that they'll handle more and more themselves.

Question 51

Why can't my child put their phone down?

Accepted Answer

Often because the app was built that way. Four steps repeat until it becomes a habit: a trigger, usually a notification; one effortless action, a swipe; a reward you can't predict; and a small investment, a streak. Self-discipline is rarely the problem.

Question 52

Why are TikTok and Instagram so addictive?

Accepted Answer

The feed works like a slot machine: a reward arrives, but you never know which one, and the dopamine system fires hardest for rewards it can't predict. The natural stopping places are gone too: the feed has no bottom, and the next video starts itself.

Question 53

Does turning off notifications help my child use their phone less?

Accepted Answer

Yes, it's a good start, but rarely the whole job. Notifications are the external trigger, and those you can remove in the settings. Over time the app wires itself to something already in your child, like boredom, and then it no longer needs notifications.

Question 54

What is the difference between a habit and an addiction?

Accepted Answer

Who's in charge. A habit obeys you: you think “right, phone down”, and down it goes. With an addiction you hear yourself say “that's enough now” while the thumb keeps swiping anyway. At that point the app is steering you.

Question 55

Is my child addicted to screens?

Accepted Answer

Probably not. The diagnosis is reserved for the few who have lost control over a long stretch. Most kids have solidly built habits they never chose. “You're addicted” is a label to carry; “the app built you a habit” is something you can change.

Question 56

How do I know if my child is gaming too much?

Accepted Answer

Watch how hard stopping is rather than counting hours. If your child can wrap up when you've agreed, sighing included, your child is still in charge. If every stop is a battle, the game has taken over, and that's what you work on together.

Question 57

Is gaming addiction real?

Accepted Answer

Yes. The WHO recognises gaming disorder, the only screen-related diagnosis it has. The hallmark is loss of control: gaming crowds out everything else and carries on despite obvious harm, usually for at least twelve months before anyone makes the diagnosis. It applies to adults too.

Question 58

Is gaming bad for kids?

Accepted Answer

Not in itself. Gaming has plenty going for it: the social side, quick problem-solving, teamwork and laughter, and it rests the head much as sport does. As long as it stays a hobby rather than sliding into addiction, I think it's a good thing.

Question 59

How do I talk to my child about screen addiction?

Accepted Answer

Ideally without the word “addicted”. Explain the tricks: “The apps are made by grown-ups who earn money when you use them. They use surprises so you'll check again, and things you collect so a break hurts. That's why it's hard to stop. You're not weak.”

Question 60

How do I get my child off their phone?

Accepted Answer

Expose the tricks together. Ask about their favourite app: “What made you open it? What were you hoping to find? What have you collected that you'd miss?” Admit it when you get caught yourself: “I got stuck in my phone again.” And turn off autoplay.

Question 61

What is a streak in an app?

Accepted Answer

A streak is a counter that grows for every day your child uses the app and resets to zero the day they don't. Snapchat wants a snap in both directions every 24 hours, Duolingo counts consecutive days of practice, and games count days logged in.

Question 62

Why do kids care so much about streaks?

Accepted Answer

Because a streak plays on the fear of losing something. Psychologists showed in 1979 that a loss feels roughly twice as strong as an equivalent gain. Your child gets a small possession for free, then works every day to keep it. Frightened users come back.

Question 63

How do Snapchat streaks work?

Accepted Answer

Two friends keep a streak alive by sending a snap in both directions every 24 hours. Miss a day and the flame disappears. For many kids it becomes an obligation with a daily deadline, and some lend passwords so friends can “streak-sit” on holiday.

Question 64

Is Duolingo good for kids?

Accepted Answer

The content is good, and your child learns a language. What I'd watch is the streak. It pulls the same lever as Snapchat: Duolingo says it exists to build a daily habit and bring people back, and sells a “streak freeze”, insurance against losing it.

Common questions

First phone

When should my child get their first phone?