Everyday life at home

Kids who are told why a rule exists take it with them when they leave the room. Kids who just obey leave it at the door. The research behind one of my principles: no rule without a reason the child gets to hear.

One good talk loses to a thousand repetitions from the feed and their friends. Why repetition works, according to the research, and how to nag so the message actually sticks.

Language researchers at the University of Oslo followed 1,442 Norwegian toddlers: the two year olds with more daily screen time knew fewer words, and the children who were read to a lot knew more. A British study points the same way. Best of all, the strongest move is also the cosiest one.

Nir Eyal wrote Hooked, the book about how apps get us hooked. Then he wrote the book about taking your focus back. On notifications that treat everything as equally urgent, and the one move that makes your phone a tool again.

Your brain has a network of its own that wakes up only when you're not doing anything in particular. The research makes a strong case that boredom is underrated, and there's one concrete step you can take today.

You've probably heard you should dim the lights and put the screens away an hour before bed. But did you know it matters just as much to bring your core body temperature down, and that the shower that helps is a warm one, not a cold one? Why We Sleep by sleep scientist Matthew Walker is one of the most interesting books I've read, packed with useful science for better sleep.

Our generation of parents were the first guinea pigs for social media and smartphones: no training, no research, random results. Now our kids are standing where we stood, but this time there's a handbook.

Irritation rests on an expectation, anger on a demand. The best advice I've ever been given, and what the research says you can actually expect of a child at four, nine and fourteen.

Be consistent. A child who learns that nagging never works gradually grows into smarter questions and better arguments. Here is the mechanism that keeps the nagging alive, and the strategies I use at home to keep nagging and whining down.

59 per cent of Norwegian kids between 9 and 16 use generative AI, and 85 per cent say their parents let them use it whenever they like. Here are the age limits that actually apply, the three ways AI gets things wrong, what the research says about homework and the settings that matter most.

86 per cent of Norwegian kids game, and the research on gaming's ups and downs is more honest than the debate: plenty that does them good, some things that go wrong and very little of it decided by hours played. This guide gives you the three questions that matter more than playing time: what kind of game, with whom and where.

What the research actually says about kids and social media, a quick tour of the apps they'll ask for, from Snapchat to Roblox, and the one principle that protects better than any age limit.

Half an hour to an hour a day at most, says the Norwegian Directorate of Health, ideally less and ideally with you on the sofa. But what kind of screen matters more than the minutes: made for kids, no ads, no autoplay. The numbers, the criteria and what I learnt from two runs through the toddler years.

The Norwegian Directorate of Health's screen time ceilings for every age: no screens under 2, at most an hour for ages 2 to 5, an hour and a half for 6 to 12 and one and a half to three hours for teenagers. Just as important: why the limits exist and how to be your child's guide without the constant nagging.

Rarely the way you hope. Confiscating the phone ends tonight's battle, but it doesn't teach your child to put the phone down on their own. What works better: limits that live in the system and agreements made in peacetime.

When your child actually needs one, not when the pressure says it's time. And the first phone doesn't have to be a smartphone. Three questions that matter more than any age.